TOP 10 DISAPPOINTING FILMS OF 2009:
10. The Fantastic Mr. Fox – Wes Anderson has jumped the jaguar shark and there’s no turning back.
9. Taking Woodstock – This movie is not about Woodstock. It’s Brokeback Mountain: the Woodstock Years. Here’s a clue…if you’re going to make a movie about Woodstock, maybe some music would be appropriate? I get it Mr. Lee. You’re gay. Can we move on?
8. Away We Go – I know we all love Jim from The Office. But without Dwight and Michael around to make fun of, he's just some guy.
7. G.I. Joe – Failed to meet even my modest expectations (I was a He-Man kid). It’s just astounding that this movie came out AFTER Team America World Police…my friend Greg pointed this out mid-movie…how do you make a parody’s source material after the parody has already come out?
6. Watchmen – 15 months of previews for a lot of naked blue dude. I guess it's nice that reactionary politics finally have an outlet...What's a radio?
5. Terminator: Salvation – For the record, McG and I are also done professionally.
4. Nine – If DDL is going to stop cobbling shoes for a movie, it better not be a tedious musical tearing down Fellini.
3. Where the Wild Things Are – This actually is a pretty decent movie. Still, I can’t help but be disappointed. I loved this book. Spike Jonze has unrealized potential. James Gandolfini is Tony Soprano. There was a lot this movie could have been. Instead, it was above average.
2. Pirate Radio – This movie is almost an accomplishment in being so much less than the sum of its parts. You take pretty much every hilarious English actor, you put them on a boat with PSH, and you try to make a hymn to how good music was in the 60’s. Then you have Kenneth Brannaugh to tear it up as the bad guy and a cameo of January Jones in all her radiant glory. How is it possible that this movie was so painfully bad?
1. Public Enemies – It’s hard to go from “This will be the best movie of the year,” to “I fell asleep." Ultimately, Depp's just not the man to play Dillinger and Bale didn't have a character.