Oscars 09-10 Preview Continued: All of the "Other" Awards

Best Animated Feature Film
- Coraline – We’re mandated to like this because of the artistry involved…but it wasn’t that good.
- Fantastic Mr. Fox – So, what we said about Coraline…yeah, you too.
- The Princess and the Frog – We’ve got 5 slots here…kind of a throw-back. I mean, thanks for trying.
- The Secret of Kells – Wow, we’re really having trouble coming up with 5 here. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs didn’t hit the spot?
- Up – So, this got nominated for best picture as well. And none of these other movies did. Awkward…
WILL/SHOULD WIN: Up.

Best Original Screenplay (Most names removed since, for the most part, no one cares about the writer)
- The Hurt Locker – Thanks for figuring out that no one wants their Iraq War politics in their Iraq War movie. Now work on your dialogue.
- Quentin Tarantino – Inglorious Basterds – You put a lot of work in. But the Samuel L voice-over? Really?
- The Messenger – Also a movie about Iraq vets. Thank you for playing.
- The Coens – A Serious Man – You guys…you’re good at this. Maybe we can just nominate you for the writing award and pretend we understood your movie? In fact, I’m officially re-naming this award after you. And that’s despite Burn After Reading.
- Up In the Air – Well written, true, but kind of meandering.
WILL WIN: Up In The Air – Has that “Hollywood Cares About the Headlines” feel.
SHOULD WIN: Tarantino. It’s close. The Coens rocked it and there’s something to be said for Up in the Air’s script. But I like that this script took its time. Also, I have to say...I really thought, all along, that some modicum of historical accuracy would be preserved. Much to everyone's delight, it was not.

Best Documentary
A bunch of movies you didn’t see.

Best Foreign Language Film
(See Best Documentary)

Best Original Score
Nothing comes to mind.

Best Song
No one makes good songs for movies any more

Best Visual Effects/Cinematography
Avatar. It’s kind of hard to ignore that ‘revolutionize the industry’ thing.

I'm told there are other categories. Can’t we just move them to that ceremony they hold on the previous day?