Best Supporting Actor
- Matt Damon – tried his best at a South African accent and playing a man-mountain rugby player despite being relatively small
- Woody Harrelson – Was good in Zombieland, but we couldn’t possibly nominate him for that, so we’ll vote for him in that other Iraq movie that no one even knew to see.
- Christopher Plummer – Career nod.
- Stanley Tucci – I’m really upset at the blasphemy that Stanley Tucci will now be known as ‘Oscar Nominee Stanley Tucci’. Because he SUCKS! How does this guy keep getting jobs?
- Christopher Waltz – Came out of nowhere to own a movie so completely that it’s difficult to imagine why anyone else was even nominated.

WILL WIN: Christopher Waltz. It’s by far the stand-out performance of the year. I don’t care if he’s nobody. Un-ignorable.
SHOULD WIN: Waltz. It’s an insult that he’ll be shown on screen for any period of time with the likes of Tucci.