2009-10 Oscars Preview Continued:BIGGEST SNUBS, WORST NOMINATIONS

BIGGEST SNUB:
- Brad Pitt – Best Supporting Actor – Inglorious Basterds. Look, it was fun. And it’s Brad Pitt. And we need another awkward brangelina/aniston moment. Big miss. (Still pulling for Jennifer).
- Michael Stulbarg – Best Actor – A Serious Man. This guy carried a difficult role. Credit is due.
- Fred Melamed – Best Supporting Actor – A Serious Man. If you’ve seen this movie, you will remember Sy Ableman for the rest of your life.
- Robert Downey Jr. – Best Actor – Sherlock Holmes. I just like having him around. Come on. If we don’t nominate him for things, he’ll do something silly…like cocaine…or The Soloist.
- Matt Damon – Best Actor – The Informant! Unlike his unremarkable turn in Invictus, this was a difficult role, less foreign accent, that I thought he carried well.
- Woody Harrelson – Best Supporting Actor – Zombieland. This movie is worthless without him; a cute script with low-wattage acting (except for the Bill Murray cameo, which was priceless).
- The Hangover – Best Original Screenplay. Come on; it’s a genius idea, and half the people I know now call each other reTARDS.
THE WINNER IS: Michael Stulbarg. Pitt and Melamed don’t have enough screen time. Harrelson and Damon were nominated for other, lesser performances. A low brow comedy script is never getting nominated for anything. Which leaves us with Stulbarg, who is the nobody who deserved a nod instead of the annual LGBT-token nod.

WORST NOMINATION:
- Stanley Tucci. I didn’t see The Lovely Bones. But COME ON! Stanley Tucci? He has to be either the president of the LGBT mafia or the grand wizard of Scientology because he’s got nothing to offer.
- Colin Firth. The voting isn’t done by professionals. It’s done by members of the academy. Now, perhaps you haven’t noticed, but there’s a lot of gay folks in LA. But honestly, by voting for everything gay for awards, they’re hurting themselves. It just adds to the stereotype that gay people are nothing beyond their sexual identity. And it wastes our time at the academy awards, because Colin (Insert Last Name Here) gets nominated instead of someone deserving. It’s as trite and offensive as terming everything insipid or distasteful ‘gay’. This nomination is gay.
- Maggie Gyllenhaal. I know your brother’s famous…but you’re just not very good at this. How much longer are you going to go on playing the girl in other people’s movies? Someone with talent might actually do something with one of these roles.
- An Education. The actress was good. The movie was not.
- Christopher Plummer. You are an old guy who is good at acting. You just played Leo Tolstoy…he’s famous too, you know. Normally, we would have given you an award by now. But we got mixed up by that whole Dumbledore actor dying thing. Anyway…look, we’re sorry we gave you mostly B-roles up till now. We do that to character actors. So, does this even things up?
WINNER IS: Stanley Tucci. Tucci is like Jamal Lewis, without the heyday. Why is he still getting reps?