CULT CLASSIC OF THE DECADE: The Room.

An extremely sketchy importer/exporter (think long-haired Dr. Nick Riviera) puts up enough money to get the rest of his acting class to make a movie which he scripts. He doesn’t speak English good, nor can any of them act. He also foots the bill FOR YEARS for a giant billboard in the middle of LA, promoting this movie. Eventually, real stars watch it, find it hilarious, start sneaking it into real movies, and it becomes the cult classic of the decade.

That’s what you need to know. As for the movie itself, it’s best to read up before watching it, and watch it with people who are already in on the joke. Because it really is the worst movie ever. This gets it to score high on the unintentional comedy scale…eventually.

For example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4

Not to spoil the dramatic subtext, but the dude with the football is sleeping with the girlfriend of the guy with the long-hair (aforementioned extremely sketchy importer/exporter). Anyways, unintentional comic gold.

BEST LOVE STORY OF THE DECADE:

Love Actually – the metanarrative love story

Moulin Rouge – the musical review love story

My Big Fat Greek Wedding – the multi-ethnic love story

The Notebook – the impossibly romantic though in other scenes embarrassingly not so love story

Pride and Prejudice – the timeperiod love story

WINNER: Moulin Rouge.

Greek Wedding gets the decade best but won’t age well. Pride and Prejudice gets the decade least but ages very well. The Notebook has iconic scenes but also bad scenes. Love Actually has iconic storylines but also bad storylines. Moulin Rouge is the only creation that is untouchable from beginning to end, 30 years ago or 30 years from now.

BEST HORROR MOVIE:

28 Days Later

Drag Me to Hell

The Ring

Shaun of the Dead

Zombieland

WINNER: Shaun of the Dead.

This genre’s been done; all that’s left is to mock it.

BEST PURE COMEDY:

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Knocked Up

The Royal Tenebaums

School of Rock

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

WINNER: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

It was a great decade for comedy, you could easily put another five in this list, and we’re all winners as a result.

BEST ANIMATED FILM:

Finding Nemo

Kung Fu Panda

Ratatouille

Shrek

Up!

WINNER: Up!

It was also a great decade for animation. My biases are clear. Finding Nemo is probably the consensus pick, except for the French, but I fancy Up!  

BEST LEGAL DRAMA:

Erin Brockovich

Michael Clayton

WINNER: Erin Brockovich

It was not a great decade for the law, as CSI: Et Al wrote every plot possible. Farewell?

BEST TEEN FILM: Superbad

Juno is a better movie but Superbad is the true teen film.

BEST DOCUMENTARY:

Grizzly Man

Man on Wire

Murderball

Much of documentary is now propaganda and polemic. These movies are documentaries as they are supposed to be. Between Grizzly Man and Man on Wire, which are on the same level, I pick the latter because it has that once-in-a-decade sense of wonder and ecstatic experience.