Best and
worst of the decade’s Academy Awards
RAZZIES:
WORST MOVIE AWARDS:
2000 –
Battlefield Earth
2001 –
Freddy Got Fingered
2002 – Swept
Away
2003 – Gigli
2004 –
Catwoman
2005 – Dirty
Love
2006 – Basic
Instinct 2
2007 – I
Know Who Killed Me
2008 – The
Love Guru
2009 –
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
WORST
WORST MOVIE: Battlefield Earth. The movie so bad, the screenwriter
apologized, explaining that he was only trying to get laid, and instead he created the cinematic version of birth-control. Seriously, this happened:
BEST
WORST MOVIE: I Know Who Killed Me. Since these movies are all so bad
that it’s hard to label one “good” I’ll go with the one I’ve never even heard
of. It can't be that bad if it's not famously bad.
Best Best
Actress:
Julia
Roberts – Erin Brockovich
Halle Berry
– Monster’s Ball
Nicole
Kidman – The Hours
Charlize
Theron – Monster
Hilary Swank
– Million Dollar Baby
Reese
Witherspoon – Walk the Line
Helen Mirren
– The Queen
Marion
Cotillard – La Vie En Rose
Kate Winslet
– The Reader
Sandra
Bullock – The Blind Side
WINNER:
Charlize Theron. The part where you pretend to be someone else is called
acting. This is acting.
WORST:
Nicole Kidman. There are a lot of bland characters on this list; Kidman’s is
the blandest.
Best Best
Supporting Actress:
Marcia Gray
Harden – Pollock
Jennifer
Connelly – A Beautiful Mind
Catherine
Zeta-Jones – Chicago
Renee
Zellwegger – Cold Mountain
Cate
Blanchett – The Aviator
Rachel Weisz
– The Constant Gardener
Jennifer
Hudson – Dreamgirls
Tilda
Swinton – Michael Clayton
Penelope
Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Mo’Nique –
Precious
WINNER:
Rachel Weisz. This list is deep in talent and shallow in memorable
performances. Blanchett’s is probably the most memorable, but I hesitate
because she’s just doing an impression. Instead, let’s go with Weisz, who’s
convincing and compelling activist is all that stands out in an otherwise weak movie.
Her and the flamingos.
WORST: Jennifer
Hudson. When you just relive your brief career on screen, that is not acting.
Especially if most of your screen time is spent singing.
Best Best
Actor:
Russell
Crowe – Gladiator
Denzel
Washington – Training Day
Adrien Brody
– The Pianist
Sean Penn –
Mystic River
Jamie Foxx –
Ray
Philip
Seymour Hoffman – Capote
Forest
Whitaker – The Last King of Scotland
Daniel Day
Lewis – There Will Be Blood
Sean Penn –
Milk
Jeff Bridges
– Crazy Heart
WINNER:
Daniel Day Lewis. Sorry guys, he drank your milkshake. Easily the most memorable creation of the decade. And that’s
why the award is named after him.
WORST: Adrien
Brody. His acceptance kiss on Halle Berry outshone the reason he won the
award. He’s not bad, and he’s unfairly disappeared since, surfacing only for a
surprisingly good Predator movie. Is it possible Ms. Berry pulled a Jack Palance
and read the wrong name and he's been blacklisted, Marisa Tomei style? Or maybe Adrien’s just a bad kisser and Halle’s had it in for him ever since.
Best
Best Supporting Actor:
Benicio Del
Toro – Traffic
Ian McKellen
– The Lord of the Rings
Chris Cooper
– Adaptation
Tim Robbins
– Mystic River
Morgan
Freeman – Million Dollar Baby
George
Clooney - Syriana
Alan Arkin –
Little Miss Sunshine
Javier
Bardem – No Country for Old Men
Heath Ledger
– The Dark Knight
Christopher
Waltz – Inglourious Basterds
WINNER:
Heath Ledger. As always, this is the hardest category. McKellen’s Gandalf is definitely
the best good guy of the bunch. But the bad guys are always more fun. Bardem
and Waltz are great, but the lightly-regarded Ledger took on the role that Jack
Nicholson owned and blew him, the competition, and all of us away.
WORST: Tim
Robbins. Robbins’ performance in Mystic River is comically bad. His chime is the falsest note in
the cacophony of tone-deaf abrupt turns taken by all of the characters at the end of
Mystic River.
Best Best Director:
Steven Soderbergh – Traffic
Ron Howard – A Beautiful Mind
Roman Polanski – The Pianist
Peter Jackson – The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Clint Eastwood – Million Dollar Baby
Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain
Martin Scorsese – The Departed
Joel & Ethan Coen – No Country for Old Men
Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire
Katherine Bigelow – The Hurt Locker
WINNER: Joel & Ethan Coen. I’d give it to Peter Jackson if this was for all three movies, or even if it was just for the second movie. But I find the third movie to have too many weak points (and slow-motion hugs, and knowing looks). So between Scorsese and the Coens, I favor the art for Director. No Country is spotless filmmaking.
WORST: Clint Eastwood. Inclined as I am to hate metacanards like Traffic, the truth is that it’s very difficult to execute and Soderbergh led the way (those who have followed have done so presumably out of morbid curiosity). Meanwhile, Eastwood had a nice little film going before he gave it a weak twist ending torn from the headlines. This is the path that filler TV shows take, not Oscar-winning movies.
Best Best
Picture:
Gladiator
A Beautiful
Mind
Chicago
The Lord of
the Rings: The Return of the King
Million
Dollar Baby
Crash
The Departed
No Country
for Old Men
Slumdog
Millionaire
The Hurt Locker
WINNER:
The Departed. No Country for Old Men is probably the best work of art, but
it’s also jarring, remote, and emotionally unsatisfying. As the guy in the stall next to me after the movie said, "It was long, boring, and will probably win an academy award." You can't be the best of the best unless you grab your whole audience at every level. Consistent and engaging, The Departed succeeds in that. It’s that rare film that, if you’re flipping through
channels and stumble upon it, you feel instantly compelled to stop and watch until that one part you like, and then
end up blowing your evening on it.
WORST:
Chicago. A movie of no intrinsic value. The musical is a fluff piece with no
plot to hang around its musical numbers. The movie version adequately renders said
musical.
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