OSCAR REVIEW

First of all, hooray for Jon Stewart. Couldn't have been better.

BEST PICTURE:
Predicted: Brokeback
Should: Crash
Actual: Crash

I guess we all learned that race still matters more than sexual preference. Except when the director's a minority. Lesson learned.

BEST ACTOR:
Predicted: PSH
Should: PSH
Actual: PSH
We all knew.

BEST ACTRESS:
Predicted: Theron
Should: Knightly
Actual: Witherspoon
I fell down on this one - I didn't realize Witherspoon was playing someone famous. Plus Theron already won.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
PREDICTED: Clooney
SHOULD: Dillon
Actual: Clooney
How you like me now. This was sort of like Clooney's Christopher moment in the Sopranos: he got his stripes, and now he has to buy everyone dinner and watch his girlfriend's panties get sniffed by the boss. I liked Clooney's speech, especially because it demonstrated his point. I think he's more sophisticated in his kool-aid sipping than the Babses and Sarandons. He mixes some red wine into the kool-aid

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Predicted: Michelle Williams
Should: Frances McDormand
Actual: Rachel Weisz
I really fell down on this one - I thought Rachel played a more sophisticated character, and I thought the issues were foreign. I didn't realize it was about drug companies and a noble idealist. Plus it safely avoids having her spend time chasing an academy award. Yes, I'm looking at you aging comedians.

2-5. But if I'd seen the movies I would have been able to make a fairer evaluation. I think I also deserve credit for making my picks a month early, before all the winners got leaked by the buzz machine. Or maybe I just don't the have the knack with the ladies.

PS Ezekiel Jones - calm the bleep down. What happened to the sense of humor?