Anderson Cooper Strikes Again
http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/anderson.cooper.360/blog/
So apparently the Veiled Vanderbilt deigns post on his own CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED blog every Wednesday. I foresee Wednesday evenings growing exceedingly pleasant, and not just because of the all you can eat Indian buffet.

Since Anderson has nothing to say about the world, once again his post is dedicated to eulogizing something, this time it's Mike Wallace's career. I would have thought that such a eulogy would have been delivered when CBS news sank with Rather, or when Wallace died 15 years ago and was injected with Dick Clark serum. At least Bob Barker has a decent makeup job that makes him look human. Mike Wallace is a walking mass of plastic surgery. Honestly CBS, we can handle an 88-year old anchor. He can look like an old man. Or maybe it's just Wallace who is vain. That's a lot of vanity, or maybe just an unhealthy dose of vanity stretched VERY taught over a number of years on the downside of the hill.

Nevertheless, it's once again amusing to note that Cooper JUST MET WALLACE. Does Anderson actually care enough about anyone he's eulogizing to, you know, maintain a friendship with him?

I actually appreciate this post in the sense that if Anderson weren't so dense, it could be deep satire. Let's play out the possible hidden meaning of his posts:
"You Look Like A Kid" Translation: "Mike Wallace Called Me A Kid!"
When I heard Mike Wallace was stepping down, I thought, 'Goddamn is CBS desparate, they work the poor robot to the bone...errr gear. I've been suckling at the teat of MSM ever since I was an airhead kid and I remember him reading a lot of stuff to me back then too.

Then comes this, "To me, 60 minutes is still the best news magazine program on broadcast tv." Notice that cable TV doesn't count since, well, a certain someone has a news magazine program on cable TV. Oh, and then there's the whole, no real competition thing. And maybe Anderson just missed that time that 60 minutes MADE UP A STORY AND GOT CAUGHT!

Then there's "It's the only show I listen to on the radio if I'm in a car when it's on." Ignore the dangling modifiers, the circular logic. No, no, I'm sorry. Laugh at them.

Then he talks about how he flew down to Florida this weekend and sat between Mike and his wife Mary at a charity event, where he met Mike for the first time. I.E. I just met him on the way out the door.

Then Mike tells Andy he looks like a kid. And Andy responds by writing some pleasantries:
"When Mike told me he was going to be 88 years old this year, I did a double take. I couldn't believe it. He looks amazing, and has far more energy than I do."
Translation: When Mike told me I looked like a kid, I thought, you're 88 you geriatric garlic pickle. That rascal Orville Redenbacher probably hit a ball through your store window.

Then Anderson tells us how hard his life is. Apparently news is hard on his bady and brone, I mean body and brain. Poor guy. Apparently in the teleprompter reading business, you actually have to do the reading.

RE: Commenter. I don't see how my reading of the text was wrong. He says he met him only recently and goes straight into the Charity event. If anything, you prove the point that Anderson Cooper can't write. Occham's Razor says that the simplest explanation is most likely correct. Barring the evidence you've added, one ought to surmise what I did.

I think what's stranger is that you knew that Anderson Cooper interviewed Mike Wallace on depression in Feb '05. Who remembers things like that? How is that possible? Is Mike Wallace a reknowned world expert on depression? Is he personally depressed? Is Anderson? I have only the vaguest recollection of Feb '05 from my own life...how do you come by the interview schedule of Anderson Cooper so readily?