BOY VANDERBILT HITS BACK:

"I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE PAYOLLA, THEREFORE, NOTHING WRONG WAS DONE."

Anderson Cooper, the boy anchor promoted over similarly bland media mediocrities for his shiny silver hair, alternative lifestyle, and fabulously wealthy mother, has lashed out at critics (that is, people working for his own organization) of CNN/Time's payolla scheme to buy the exclusive Angelina interview.

In a nutshell, Time paid 4 million to Jolie's charity. Suddenly, they landed an exclusive from her and her agent called the Dandy Vandy for an exclusive interview. Disgusted CNN/Time employees leaked the news and suddenly we can all delight in a wonderfully juicy bout of hypocrisy.

Media-types like Anderson make a living off of leaks. But now leaks are very bad things. So bad that Anderson curses them with the dastardly "Killer Quotations". You see, the insiders who gave Drudge his scoop weren't really insiders. They were "insiders". I guess the only insiders that can't be trusted by CNN are CNN's own insiders!

Funnier still, Anderson can't deny the story, as firmly as he denigrates it as all lies and quotations. All he can say is that he doesn't know anything other than that money changed hands, the agent called his people, and you should watch his interview.

Politicians have supporters and fundraisers who employ dirty tactics all the time, perhaps with their knowledge, perhaps tacit approval, or perhaps completely independently. But would that stop Serious Newsperson Anderson Vanderbilt, excuse me, Cooper, from casting serious doubts on the morality of the politician in question? I can just see Anderson looking stolidly into the camera, perhaps from outside his own mother's estate, and shaking his head in disgust at the dirty deeds of some other Anderson.

Now that the rumor, slander, leaking, and payolla has to do with Anderson, he's as clean as a whistle because he didn't know it was taking place. In the style of his creek-of-consciousness autobiography, he was probably daydreaming during his hardhitting refugee piece wtih Miss Jolie about how the refugees' plight reminded him of the time his mother didn't have his Mercedes ready for his 16th birthday.

Just another reminder brought to you by Anderson Cooper - no one does anything legitimately.
Even if you're a Vanderbilt backed by Ted Turner, you still have to pay up.